House poor: Danielle gets a visit from Karin, her realtor; she’s considering selling her house, although she says that her husband gets half the sale, so she’s not very motivated. She is very proud of her bathroom, the nicest in Wayne. It has a bidet! She doesn’t want to spend any money to fix up the house, which she says cost nearly $2 million to buy and now will be listed for $1.495 million. She also whines to the realtor about her husband not sending her money on time, if at all (this is the husband of whom Danielle once said, “There’s no finer man in the world”).
Ambush over arugula salad: Caroline and Jacqueline Laurita meet up with a 9-months-pregnant Teresa for lunch. Teresa complains that hubby “Juicy” Joe Giudice still wants to have sex her. She sighs and tells him, “Do what ya gotta do.” “At least he’s still interested,”Caroline says. Very. Awkward. Pause. Teresa asks Jacqueline if she’s heard from Danielle. Another. Awkward. Pause. Thought not as Awkward. As. The first. In voiceover, Jacqueline says that she wasn’t expecting to talk about Danielle.
(Yeah, right. What show did Jacqueline think she signed up for? “Top Chef: Passaic County”?) Jacqueline says that she’s spoken to Danielle on the phone, and that she wouldn’t snub her. Imagine Tony Soprano’s reaction if the deli guy told him they were out of capicola. Certainly not for the edification of anyone at that table, Teresa proceeds to recapDanielle’s long-ago arrest. Jacqueline says it was “many, many years ago.” Caroline says that’s not excuse for kidnapping someone. “You hang around garbage, you start to stink … She’s a con artist, and she’s going for the weakest link.” Silence. IfDanielle wants to make things right with anyone, she should be reaching out to Caroline and Teresa, not Jacqueline, they tell her. “She will never win against us,” Caroline says. “Never.” We are officially terrified.
Girls don’t poop: We didn’t make that up; that’s what Christopher Manzo’s shirt says. He and siblings Albie and Lauren have a food fight in the Manzo kitchen; ham is flying.Caroline is not amused. “There’s nothing good about the ham game. There’s nothing funny about the ham game. There’s nothing responsible about the ham game.” (Which may rank up there with Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino’s “You are excluded from surf-and-turf night” litany.) There’s tension over Albie’s best friend Vito dating Lauren. Albie: “Thinking of him holding your hand makes me throw up in my mouth a little.” Later, Vito comes by, and there’s tension between Vito and Albie as well, but they have a little man-to-man in the kitchen and clear the air.
The prodigal daughter: Ashley stops by Jacqueline’s house to do some laundry. Jacqueline is upset when Ashley, 18, admits that she goes clubbing, and wants Ashley to make sure she always uses a designated driver. “I don’t understand why it’s so horrible for me to ask if you’re being safe?” “Can you stop?” Yelling. “If I wanted to come here and argue with you,” Ashley says, “I would just live here.” Later, Dina Manzo meetsJacqueline at a baby boutique to buy a present for Teresa. Jacqueline tells Dina that Ashley moved out of the house. Dina says Jacqueline “needs to open a can of whoop-ass.” We can’t disagree.
Work it: Danielle says that IMG modeling agency wants her 15-year-old daughter Christine to model for them. Completely coincidentally, Teresa’s daughter Gia, 8, gets a go-see to walk in a fashion show. (Voiceover fromDanielle : “I don’t know if Gia has what it takes. I’m not cutting on her. I’m just saying, she’s not a supermodel. She’s four foot tall.”) Gia gets the job. Meanwhile,Christine goes on her photo shoot with Gilles Bensimon, the creative director of Elle magazine, which is actually pretty major. Christine gets annoyed by her mother’s running commentary. Point taken. Bensimon offers to take Danielle’s picture as well. They pose together. “I would probably like modeling again,” Danielle says. Christine lands the cover of The Daily, an industry magazine, and her modeling agent tells her she has a real future. Danielle invites Dina and Jacqueline to a luncheon she’s throwing to celebrate Christine’s cover. Dina, who texted Danielle congratulations when she heard about Christine’s coup, tells her she might have a conflict. Jacqueline says her husband doesn’t want her involved and begs off.
Indigestion: Danielle throws the luncheon. Among the guests: Kim D., boutique proprietor and apparent back-stabber. Dina does not come. Incidentally, the fashion spread includes one of the photos withDanielle, so Christine’s coup clearly had nothing to do with the fact that her mom is the star of a popular reality show. Nothing at all. Danielle points out Dina and Jacqueline ’s absence to the other ladies at the luncheon, saying it shows their true colors. She insists she’s going to “stay in the positive.”Danielle says that one of the women who did attend the luncheon, Kim G., is a friend of Caroline’s, and tells the woman that she doesn’t want to make her feel like she’s being put in the middle. As Danielle puts her in the middle. Kim G. says she’s not friends with Caroline. Huzzahs all around.
Article From : http://www.thenewspk.com/2010/05/theres-nothing-good-about-the-ham-gamechristine-staub/
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